i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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