I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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