I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
