We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
