just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
