Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
