Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize