last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
