I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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