Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
