whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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