it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
