Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
