i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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