We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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