last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
