Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
