better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
