Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
