I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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