Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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