I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
