Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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