my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize