sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
