it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
