handjob tips. give me some.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
