see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
