Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm going to jail i love you
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
