i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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