Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
