All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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