she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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