Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
