I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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