I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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