I bet he comes in French.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
