I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
