Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
