dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
