i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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