I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
