I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize