this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
