I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
