Just look for the house with the beer knights.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
