Define "chronic" masturbator.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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