just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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