if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
