WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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