what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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