My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
