she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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