They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
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