Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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