i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
