I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
