Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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