I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
