is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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