remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
