yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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