There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
