I cockslap morals
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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