his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
