marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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